I always talk to Darren about being proactive about things we say. It kind of hit me today that I am not. I always talk about wanting to get out more, wanting to make new friends. But, do I do anything about it? Nothing at all.
I think mostly I am scared. I really do want to make new friends. Not just good acquaintances, but quality friends. Mostly, I am scared of rejection and being hurt. I don't want to try and be someone's friend only to realize they aren't too interested in being my friend. I seldom really let my wall down for anyone. People I consider my "friends" I don't really think I've let my wall down for. Well, I've been thinking about it. I think to really make new friends I'm going to have to be vulnerable to some degree. I'm going to have to let my wall down some. If I don't, I'm not really going to make new friends because they aren't going to really get to know me and who I am. As far as the rejection goes, I think it will happen far less than I have let myself believe. Because, really, I think most people would love a good new friend.
Also, as far as getting out more, what is really stopping me? Before Raileigh was born, I told Darren how I was going to take her to the park all the time and how we were going to have all these fun adventures. We do have fun adventures, just at home. What is stopping me from taking her out more? Who knows? Nothing I can think of. So, I've decided we're going to Stone Mountain today. Just me and her. Because it's something I need to do far more often.
So, today is the start of something new for me. I know there will be days when I want to be a hermit again. That's okay- as long as those days are far outnumbered by the days I don't. And, when those days happen, I just need to write what I wrote today. Have a super day! When Raileigh and I get back, I'll let you know all about our fun adventure :)
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3 years ago
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where's the like button on blogs? :)
ReplyDeleteGood thinkin', Desi. ;-)
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful first adventure in your newfound proactivity!
You'll do fine. I know that the older one gets (me, me, me) the harder it is to make friends. Or at least it seems that way.
ReplyDeleteDon't judge yourself too harshly, my friend - making friends is an art form, in my view. Sometimes someone has to come along side you and be the type of friend you want to be. As a believing person, I rely on the LORD to bring those people into my life. Then, when I'm blessed enough to have them cross my path, I love them, love them, love them. Yes, you do have to make yourself vulnerable - take the risk, be yourself, be giving, be humble, be respectful. All a challenge, to be sure.
ReplyDeleteI am blessed with several good friends, but none so wonderful as my bestest friend, Lisa. I am forever grateful for her patience and care with me and our friendship. Friendships have to be nurtured as much as the marital relationship, in my view.
Hug that sweet Raileigh for me! :-) Oh man...I gotta go vote!
Sorry I haven't commented here sooner; your blog is adorable, but it has nothing on your daughter! She is hands down incredible. And those teeth!
ReplyDeleteI was compelled to post, though, when you wrote of making new friends and fighting the hermit impulse. I can totally sympathize!! If I don't plan on doing something, I just don't go out or meet anyone (even if it sounds like fun). I do go out, and I have made a few really great friends in the two years I've been living in Nashville, but it's always a conscious decision to not be a hermit.
So even if I don't have words of wisdom, I most definitely want you to know you're not alone! :)